Strange truth at 20 weeks or five months….

It has been five months without you, I hated a five hour separation and now I am forced to learn to live without you physically holding my hand.

I came to a strange realization today an understanding of you actually. You left Rome but it never quite left you. You did truly love all things Italian, including me. I feel closer to you, I can feel you all around me today maybe more then ever. Everywhere I look there are things that remind me of you.

I felt your presence with me in such a way, I couldn’t stop the tears I just went with it. The energy the vibe or the flavor of this place as you called it, is us. I never knew because I had never been here but now I get it.

Our interests and our hearts matched they were perfect together. I spent my whole life looking for you and then there you were, I was finally complete and whole and happy. Now you are gone again and I can only hope to live my life in a way that makes us both proud.

I guess God has a plan for me, I would have been happy leaving this world together, it would have been so much better, there is a huge part of me missing you took that with you. People tell me I am going to be ok, I feel like they are wrong. There is no way I can ever be ok without you so I choose to be ok with you, for every breath I take, I take one for you, for every thing I do, I will do for us.

Everything down to the coffee today made me feel something so intense. I can hear you, I can feel you and I actually understand you. None of the petty bullshit ever mattered and now more then ever it just doesn’t matter. I was so lucky to have you in my life, to share what we had together, to truly know your heart.

My challenge is to find happiness, to love myself and find peace. If only I could see myself how you did. ❤️❤️❤️ I love you

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